Unexpected and unseasonal
Death clipped another coupon
From my book of life today
A relative of a cousin died
Another deposit on death's
Mountain of Dust
He was an entirely pleasant person
Last seen at a family party
Cleaning up and washing others dishes
With a smile almost a laugh
Exactly how old was he, I asked
Collecting yet another data point
And recalculating probable dates
Of the day for which
I will see the start
But will not see the end
May death become confused
And lost
The day it comes
Looking for my door
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
The Shovel
One day
The surviving half
Of every couple
Will have to carry
The shovel of
That final separation
The surviving half
Of every couple
Will have to carry
The shovel of
That final separation
When Does Death Begin
When does death begin?
Is it at retirement
Or when you stop looking for new friends?
Are there signs on the first day?
Could I have noticed the start
Of the uncurling spectacle of aging?
I can't say for sure I'm dying
But my body is declining.
Is this witnessed by others?
Should I take more vitamins
And devote myself to more exercising
Or is it too late?
Will someone I love
Come to take me for a ride
And will they speak in language I can understand?
Is it at retirement
Or when you stop looking for new friends?
Are there signs on the first day?
Could I have noticed the start
Of the uncurling spectacle of aging?
I can't say for sure I'm dying
But my body is declining.
Is this witnessed by others?
Should I take more vitamins
And devote myself to more exercising
Or is it too late?
Will someone I love
Come to take me for a ride
And will they speak in language I can understand?
Will I Have To Wait
Will I have to wait
In a wide and empty place
To die
My hot presence no longer felt
My trail through life
A cold and pathless place
My years will disappear
Beneath the dust in others' memories
No longer an event in anyone's history
In a wide and empty place
To die
My hot presence no longer felt
My trail through life
A cold and pathless place
My years will disappear
Beneath the dust in others' memories
No longer an event in anyone's history
Death Circumstance
Do kind people die surrounded by loved ones
Do mean people die in front of their enemies
Do lonely people die alone
Do boring people die from nothing else to do
Are people who never talk
Never discussed by anyone again
Are the obituaries of insular people never read
Does your lifestyle
Create your death circumstance
Do mean people die in front of their enemies
Do lonely people die alone
Do boring people die from nothing else to do
Are people who never talk
Never discussed by anyone again
Are the obituaries of insular people never read
Does your lifestyle
Create your death circumstance
Our Changes
We accept geological changes
And nature's ravages by flood and drought
But we contest our own changes
And strive to preserve old buildings
And to capture carbon
Maybe we should consider
Accepting our own changes as well
And nature's ravages by flood and drought
But we contest our own changes
And strive to preserve old buildings
And to capture carbon
Maybe we should consider
Accepting our own changes as well
BLINK
Blink
And someone or something is gone
Some of my poems are sorrowful
Because life is short
My debt is to memory
My fidelity is to people
I have known
And things that actually happened
And someone or something is gone
Some of my poems are sorrowful
Because life is short
My debt is to memory
My fidelity is to people
I have known
And things that actually happened
Ventriloquizing
I'm just a shuffling old man
Ventriloquizing
For a god I have never met
Making sure raindrops fall in the proper order
Preparing to fly from star to star
Ventriloquizing
For a god I have never met
Making sure raindrops fall in the proper order
Preparing to fly from star to star
Where Do Shadows Go
Where do shadows go at night
Do they flee the drudgery of unlit rooms
And visit other worlds
Before having to return to us at dawn
Do they flee the drudgery of unlit rooms
And visit other worlds
Before having to return to us at dawn
Burying Other People
One day I will lay
In a open coffin
Feeling pleased
To be done
With burying other people
In a open coffin
Feeling pleased
To be done
With burying other people
Detective Agency
I am looking for a detective agency
That will find god for a small fee
Or an insurance company
That will cover me
In case the preachers are wrong
And I turn up in hell
That will find god for a small fee
Or an insurance company
That will cover me
In case the preachers are wrong
And I turn up in hell
Little Losses
Little losses signal
I've started to die
Spots on my shirt
Hairs in my nose
Concern, sometimes even fearfulness
Going down the stairs
But, I still love
To read a dictionary
I've started to die
Spots on my shirt
Hairs in my nose
Concern, sometimes even fearfulness
Going down the stairs
But, I still love
To read a dictionary
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
LIVING SCAR
My life did not intersect
With my father’s
Until I was 15
Then at 20
He took another hairpin curve
I could not follow
I tried to reinvent myself
To live in his leafy place
I could feel his roots in me
But I didn’t know how to connect with them
His brief acceptance was only a mixture
Of pity and oversight
My false hope posed as a certainty
Until I discovered
A dashed line around me
He scissored me out again
And did not cauterize my heart
But left me with a living scar
With my father’s
Until I was 15
Then at 20
He took another hairpin curve
I could not follow
I tried to reinvent myself
To live in his leafy place
I could feel his roots in me
But I didn’t know how to connect with them
His brief acceptance was only a mixture
Of pity and oversight
My false hope posed as a certainty
Until I discovered
A dashed line around me
He scissored me out again
And did not cauterize my heart
But left me with a living scar
LAST SONG
The last morning I wake
I plan to sing
As Death approaches me
With sharpened scythe and hot breath
I plan to sing
As Death approaches me
With sharpened scythe and hot breath
Monday, November 1, 2010
My Memory Is Not Large Enough
My memory is not large enough
And will not last forever
It diminishes and grows
With each re-telling
I need more stories
And fewer complications
My interventions only complicate
I must remember, I can always be flexible
And will not last forever
It diminishes and grows
With each re-telling
I need more stories
And fewer complications
My interventions only complicate
I must remember, I can always be flexible
Clouds Are Not the Sky
Clouds are not the sky
Only a temporary presence
Time clears muddy water
I simply need rest
Or a new challenge
I must begin with acceptance
Only a temporary presence
Time clears muddy water
I simply need rest
Or a new challenge
I must begin with acceptance
Sunday, October 31, 2010
New Morning
It is not the lark that awakens me
But an plane jetting to the airport
Then old thoughts invade the new day
And I tread familiar paths
Looking for love and acceptance
Searching for redemption and meaning
But an plane jetting to the airport
Then old thoughts invade the new day
And I tread familiar paths
Looking for love and acceptance
Searching for redemption and meaning
Necklace of Words
I am stringing
A necklace of words
Poetic gems
Of memory and insight
I am gloriously happy
And fulfilled this morning
To pass hours
Writing and writing
Reading and reading
Before I know it
Its seven
Or even eleven
A necklace of words
Poetic gems
Of memory and insight
I am gloriously happy
And fulfilled this morning
To pass hours
Writing and writing
Reading and reading
Before I know it
Its seven
Or even eleven
Abandoned Bookshelf
Like a road
Driven every day
I am used
But no longer seen
Or appreciated
Each day
I more resemble
An abandoned bookshelf
Full of unread experiences
Turning to dust
Driven every day
I am used
But no longer seen
Or appreciated
Each day
I more resemble
An abandoned bookshelf
Full of unread experiences
Turning to dust
Carefully, But Not Fearfully
The ordinary life
Is a miraculous gift
Though in a prison
With bars of mortality
Yet we can sing
How difficult to be simple
To know what to cut
And then the courage to do it
At the right time
Live carefully, but not fearfully
Is a miraculous gift
Though in a prison
With bars of mortality
Yet we can sing
How difficult to be simple
To know what to cut
And then the courage to do it
At the right time
Live carefully, but not fearfully
Rewards Not Guaranteed
Whoever forces - spoils
Whoever grasps - loses
Right actions are required
Right results are not guaranteed
Push less
Let things emerge
Speak honestly, work diligently
Still, you may not be rewarded
Whoever grasps - loses
Right actions are required
Right results are not guaranteed
Push less
Let things emerge
Speak honestly, work diligently
Still, you may not be rewarded
Life Does Not Belong To Me
Life does not belong to me
I surrender my presumed immortality
I am just another element
In the replacement cycle
Everything comes and goes
There is not enough time
To arrange everything
The way I want it to be
I surrender my presumed immortality
I am just another element
In the replacement cycle
Everything comes and goes
There is not enough time
To arrange everything
The way I want it to be
Sinking Boat
Birth is the act of launching a boat
You know will sink
Every breeze and wave is a reminder
I am closer to death
Awareness of death
Frees me from the illusion
That more time or money
Will make me happy
To deny death is foolish
That is like chasing the wind
So I will stop chasing the wind
And will live in peace and kindness
You know will sink
Every breeze and wave is a reminder
I am closer to death
Awareness of death
Frees me from the illusion
That more time or money
Will make me happy
To deny death is foolish
That is like chasing the wind
So I will stop chasing the wind
And will live in peace and kindness
Wisdom of Foolishness
Life is a short lived butterfly
Folding and unfolding its wings
In the sun and wind and rain
Crying and laughing
We progress from the wisdom of knowledge
To the wisdom of foolishness
Folding and unfolding its wings
In the sun and wind and rain
Crying and laughing
We progress from the wisdom of knowledge
To the wisdom of foolishness
Greater Than All
Greater than all
Is loving kindness
The fragance of compassion
Remains on the hand
Of the one who extends it
Slip deeds of love
Into the archive of your life
Where all your actions
Lie side by side
Is loving kindness
The fragance of compassion
Remains on the hand
Of the one who extends it
Slip deeds of love
Into the archive of your life
Where all your actions
Lie side by side
Home In The Earth
Love does not die
But people do
So when I am gone
My love will be left behind
And if you need me
Put your arms around somebody
And give them what you wanted from me
Then I will see you later
At our home in the earth
But people do
So when I am gone
My love will be left behind
And if you need me
Put your arms around somebody
And give them what you wanted from me
Then I will see you later
At our home in the earth
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Uncertainty
I could tolerate this uncertainty
If I knew for certain
We'd be together
When this uncertainty is over
If I knew for certain
We'd be together
When this uncertainty is over
I DON'T
I don't miss you
I don't even know you're gone
I don't think of you each day
I don't long for you each night
I don't remember our long conversations
I don't recall our delight about the moon
I don't long for your kisses
I don't want your warm hugs
I don't, really I don't
I don't even know you're gone
I don't think of you each day
I don't long for you each night
I don't remember our long conversations
I don't recall our delight about the moon
I don't long for your kisses
I don't want your warm hugs
I don't, really I don't
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Wasting God's Efforts
If you cannot cry at the death of a soldier
Or the abuse of a child
Nor the loss of a friend
Or about the world's injustice and cruelty
Then god just wasted his time
Creating your goddam tear ducts
Or the abuse of a child
Nor the loss of a friend
Or about the world's injustice and cruelty
Then god just wasted his time
Creating your goddam tear ducts
The Blue Zone
First trip as retiree
Off season, mid week, half cocked
Never seen so many people with walkers
Half the crowd needs help to even board a bus
Then a solitary blind man on a scenic tour
I ask him "Why?"
I have entered the Blue Zone
Off season, mid week, half cocked
Never seen so many people with walkers
Half the crowd needs help to even board a bus
Then a solitary blind man on a scenic tour
I ask him "Why?"
I have entered the Blue Zone
God Of Old Age
Bless my breaking body
Give me the gift of one more green year
Of morning sounds
And let the mourning sounds go for now
Give me the gift of one more green year
Of morning sounds
And let the mourning sounds go for now
Primer Coats
What you know of me
Is only the top coat
I've laid on thick primer coats
Of love and loss
Of tears and laughter
Is only the top coat
I've laid on thick primer coats
Of love and loss
Of tears and laughter
The Sky Remembers
I thought they'd remember me
And our friendships would continue
We'd comfort and amuse each other
With tales of foolishness and victory
Nothing would come between us
As we accumulated the years and tears
Only the sky listens and remembers
And our friendships would continue
We'd comfort and amuse each other
With tales of foolishness and victory
Nothing would come between us
As we accumulated the years and tears
Only the sky listens and remembers
37th Anniversary
I have no fresh words
For my old love
You are the best thing that ever happened to me
I love you
For my old love
You are the best thing that ever happened to me
I love you
Near To You
My autistic son was so happy
To move back to our town
"Why?" I asked
"Near to you"
My heart squeezed
Causing my eyes to rain
To move back to our town
"Why?" I asked
"Near to you"
My heart squeezed
Causing my eyes to rain
Old Flame
Once she was a flame in my life
Later a hot coal
Then only an ember
Years later
Only ashes to be swept away
With other concerns
Later a hot coal
Then only an ember
Years later
Only ashes to be swept away
With other concerns
Family Tree
I am happy to be
A product of evolutionary
Hairy beasts and leaping monkeys
Singing birds and insect larvae
And not of that whining couple
Adam and Eve and all their troubles
A product of evolutionary
Hairy beasts and leaping monkeys
Singing birds and insect larvae
And not of that whining couple
Adam and Eve and all their troubles
High Flying Bird
They think me a high flying bird
Too far away to identify
I don't socialize
In local trees
I just keep flying
Too far away to identify
I don't socialize
In local trees
I just keep flying
Tick Tock
The clock ticks louder
I'm increasingly aware
Of fewer tocks remaining
I wish a silent digital clock
Would grant me more time
I'm increasingly aware
Of fewer tocks remaining
I wish a silent digital clock
Would grant me more time
Sunday, October 10, 2010
AWESOME PRICE
For less than $20 of chicken nuggets
And an hour of frog catching
And swinging in the park
With friends under a full moon
My grandkids declare me "awesome"
My heart glows, too - awesome !
And an hour of frog catching
And swinging in the park
With friends under a full moon
My grandkids declare me "awesome"
My heart glows, too - awesome !
Friday, September 10, 2010
CHAPEL OF POETRY
This small chapel of poetry
Processional lines of words
Parading into hearts
Words that can walk by themselves
I seek to live in my own times
As a troubadour of conscience
I do not pick the words
Rather they prick me
I can only write what is inside of me
Sometimes igniting
Other times extinguishing
Life's lessons and loves
Processional lines of words
Parading into hearts
Words that can walk by themselves
I seek to live in my own times
As a troubadour of conscience
I do not pick the words
Rather they prick me
I can only write what is inside of me
Sometimes igniting
Other times extinguishing
Life's lessons and loves
PERCEPTION AND REALITY
If perception were reality
Then you’d still be here with me
And not underground
Then you’d still be here with me
And not underground
LET THE QUESTION LINGER
Some questions have no answers
Like hungry young birds
Mouths open, demanding
But we must let the questions linger
Like hungry young birds
Mouths open, demanding
But we must let the questions linger
INDICTMENT
We make monuments to some
Others we call enemies
And indict our species
When we kill our own kind
Others we call enemies
And indict our species
When we kill our own kind
ALWAYS SOMETHING IS CHANGING
After reading your words
I need a moment alone
To find direction
In this new flood through my heart
Always something is changing
I need a moment alone
To find direction
In this new flood through my heart
Always something is changing
TEMPORARY MASTER
Sometimes I let the moment go
And become the temporary master
Of what should have been
And what I should make so
And become the temporary master
Of what should have been
And what I should make so
AN OLD LIST
I found your name
On an old list
Are you happy
Are you kind
Do you ever think of me
As I do of you
On an old list
Are you happy
Are you kind
Do you ever think of me
As I do of you
STAY IN TOUCH THIS TIME
I want to see friends
From long ago
To learn what happened
And how they turned out
To feel again
The energy of youth
And plans and hope
To remember and regale
I want to do it all again
Revise and improve
To forgive and love
And to stay in touch this time
From long ago
To learn what happened
And how they turned out
To feel again
The energy of youth
And plans and hope
To remember and regale
I want to do it all again
Revise and improve
To forgive and love
And to stay in touch this time
THE FATHER I WANTED
I wanted a father
Who came home each day at 5
Played pitch in the front yard
Hiked on weekends
And watched TV with me at night
But you had so many competing demands
Of work and self-expression
So many things I never knew or understood
I anticipate the day
My son will find himself
In this same position
After I am gone
Who came home each day at 5
Played pitch in the front yard
Hiked on weekends
And watched TV with me at night
But you had so many competing demands
Of work and self-expression
So many things I never knew or understood
I anticipate the day
My son will find himself
In this same position
After I am gone
NO EVIDENCE
There’s no evidence to believe
That if you hadn’t died
Things would have been better
But for me
There is still some hope
Even now
That if you hadn’t died
Things would have been better
But for me
There is still some hope
Even now
REMEMBERED NIGHTS
I remember delicious nights
Of cold fruit cocktail
And warm cookies
We shared expectations
Of sweet food and sweeter conversation
Of cold fruit cocktail
And warm cookies
We shared expectations
Of sweet food and sweeter conversation
GALLERY GLEANINGS
The artist’s face is full of endurance
Am I wanted?
The gallery owner
Is polished and pretending
Selling art is a slave auction
Unseemly and a little immoral
Am I wanted?
The gallery owner
Is polished and pretending
Selling art is a slave auction
Unseemly and a little immoral
Friday, September 3, 2010
WAKING
Waking
I cautiously crawl
To the edge of light
And peer into the day
Looking out from the blackness of sleep
I search
For the meaning
Of a new day
Tapping my eyelids
The sun says
You have another day
Look to the things you will do today
I cautiously crawl
To the edge of light
And peer into the day
Looking out from the blackness of sleep
I search
For the meaning
Of a new day
Tapping my eyelids
The sun says
You have another day
Look to the things you will do today
Friday, August 20, 2010
ENTRANCE STRICITY PROHIBITED TO...
[The following is posted at the bottom stair landing that leads up to my office / poetry place / man cave / whatever]
Entrance strictly prohibited to smokers, alcoholics, drug addicts, sick people, people with infectious diseases, misbehaving children, liars, people with defamation intentions, angry people, beggars, emotionally unstable people, borrowers, thoughtless people, all animals, thieves, stupid people, informers, people unable to love, people who do not like poetry, people bearing fire arms, people with severe emotional disorders (though I will permit some moderate disfunctions), people who watch too much mindless TV, narcissists, people who don't listen, people who rarely think, people who cannot concentrate, criminals, terrorists, people who don't return what they borrow, people who don't return calls in a reasonable time, certain cynics (but not all of them - see me for further details), people takng surveys, loafers who will waste my time, AND SOME OTHERS...
Entrance strictly prohibited to smokers, alcoholics, drug addicts, sick people, people with infectious diseases, misbehaving children, liars, people with defamation intentions, angry people, beggars, emotionally unstable people, borrowers, thoughtless people, all animals, thieves, stupid people, informers, people unable to love, people who do not like poetry, people bearing fire arms, people with severe emotional disorders (though I will permit some moderate disfunctions), people who watch too much mindless TV, narcissists, people who don't listen, people who rarely think, people who cannot concentrate, criminals, terrorists, people who don't return what they borrow, people who don't return calls in a reasonable time, certain cynics (but not all of them - see me for further details), people takng surveys, loafers who will waste my time, AND SOME OTHERS...
Thursday, August 19, 2010
TEMPLE OF WORDS
Welcome to a bit of my world
To thoughts about our world
My little book
My temple of words
To thoughts about our world
My little book
My temple of words
ACCEPT
"Life is 10,000 sorrows and 10,000 joys - accept"
An aphorism for a cloudless day
However, now it is storming
I must add two more "accepts"
To get me through this day
One is all that's needed for good fortune
Two are required on a bad day
But three are needed for the very bad things
I pray I'll never need a fourth
An aphorism for a cloudless day
However, now it is storming
I must add two more "accepts"
To get me through this day
One is all that's needed for good fortune
Two are required on a bad day
But three are needed for the very bad things
I pray I'll never need a fourth
DOING WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE
Doutbless the ants
Won't change their plans
After we are gone
Marching, working, eating
Doing what needs to be done
The disciplined will survive
Won't change their plans
After we are gone
Marching, working, eating
Doing what needs to be done
The disciplined will survive
MERITOCRACY
I am a striver in a meritocracy
Though I live here
My mind rambles regularly
And I realize
Carelessness is what got me here
Though I live here
My mind rambles regularly
And I realize
Carelessness is what got me here
ENOUGH OF WAR
Enough of war
No more trying to control
By being more terrible than the terrorists
We need a campaign of brazen honesty
Where truth meets consequence
And we reject what is rigid and rotten
No more trying to control
By being more terrible than the terrorists
We need a campaign of brazen honesty
Where truth meets consequence
And we reject what is rigid and rotten
CATALOG OF AGING
Two new items
For my catalog of aging
Gray hairs turn to silver
My dome is being painted with white
And a grave matter
I remember which dormitory of the dead
Their now powdered bones sleep in
But I cannot find the site without help
It seemed so improbable
I would ever forget the spot
We laid them down to eternal rest
For my catalog of aging
Gray hairs turn to silver
My dome is being painted with white
And a grave matter
I remember which dormitory of the dead
Their now powdered bones sleep in
But I cannot find the site without help
It seemed so improbable
I would ever forget the spot
We laid them down to eternal rest
WHAT THE HEART WANTS
What the heart wants
Is what the heart wants
Until it gets what it wants
The heart can be an organ of fire
Is what the heart wants
Until it gets what it wants
The heart can be an organ of fire
RARE NUMBERS
Rarely revealed
Numbers of their civilian dead
Collateral children and mourning mothers
Also rare, teachers killed in classrooms
While giving the gift of knowledge
Even rarer, the number
Of ravaged veterans and now fatherless kids
More than they want us to know
For to know might mean to NO
Numbers of their civilian dead
Collateral children and mourning mothers
Also rare, teachers killed in classrooms
While giving the gift of knowledge
Even rarer, the number
Of ravaged veterans and now fatherless kids
More than they want us to know
For to know might mean to NO
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
POETRY WORK
Oh, this poetry work
Every day
Reliving the pains and joys
Of brother / sister poets
Whipped from a cold wall
To warm waters
And back again
Every day
Reliving the pains and joys
Of brother / sister poets
Whipped from a cold wall
To warm waters
And back again
NOT YET DISCONNECTED
In remembrance of her birthday this year
I dialed Jackson 3 – 4147
For the 54th year
“You’ve reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service”
Only partially true
While she is no longer in service
We are not yet disconnected
I dialed Jackson 3 – 4147
For the 54th year
“You’ve reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service”
Only partially true
While she is no longer in service
We are not yet disconnected
ENGRAVINGS
I noticed two engravings in my house today
A rubbed spot the size of a quarter
On the toilet flush handle
And almost a palm print
On the wall at the top of the stairs
Where I brace myself for the descent
I’m sure there are other unnoticed patterns
Habits of utility ordering my ways
Reflections of my life and predilections
Someday others will notice
They’ll then realize I was here for years
And years later, they’ll discover their engravings
And seeing the detritus of their lives
They will know in a fresh way
The comings and goings of all of us
A rubbed spot the size of a quarter
On the toilet flush handle
And almost a palm print
On the wall at the top of the stairs
Where I brace myself for the descent
I’m sure there are other unnoticed patterns
Habits of utility ordering my ways
Reflections of my life and predilections
Someday others will notice
They’ll then realize I was here for years
And years later, they’ll discover their engravings
And seeing the detritus of their lives
They will know in a fresh way
The comings and goings of all of us
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Delayed
When your developmentally delayed child
Finally rolls over on his own
And the world cheers for the accomplishment
Then the parents weep
Knowing not all future hills will be climbed
Finally rolls over on his own
And the world cheers for the accomplishment
Then the parents weep
Knowing not all future hills will be climbed
No Victory At Sea
I first wept
As a boy, only 11
During the Pearl Harbor episode
Of the TV show Victory at Sea
I saw no victory
My young psyche was crushed
It wasn’t the evil I recognized
It was the pain and loss
More than 50 years later
I still weep about war
But now it’s not just the pain and loss
It’s also the evil
As a boy, only 11
During the Pearl Harbor episode
Of the TV show Victory at Sea
I saw no victory
My young psyche was crushed
It wasn’t the evil I recognized
It was the pain and loss
More than 50 years later
I still weep about war
But now it’s not just the pain and loss
It’s also the evil
Hot Tears
I shed tears because I must
And so others see
My sorrow and sympathy
Pity those who do not cry
Who are not sure
They could survive
An ocean of hot tears
And so others see
My sorrow and sympathy
Pity those who do not cry
Who are not sure
They could survive
An ocean of hot tears
No Flower Named For Me
I live in a house with paintings on the wall
Poems in my heart and birds in the garden
I know the pleasure of friends and flowers
I eat regularly and well, knowing it won’t last forever
One day my name will only be found on a headstone
And no flower will be named for me
Poems in my heart and birds in the garden
I know the pleasure of friends and flowers
I eat regularly and well, knowing it won’t last forever
One day my name will only be found on a headstone
And no flower will be named for me
I Will Remain
Happiness and sorrow
Come when they want to
And leave when they please
But I remain
Happy is light weight
And cannot be captured
Sorrow is heavy
And cannot be avoided
Yet I will remain
Come when they want to
And leave when they please
But I remain
Happy is light weight
And cannot be captured
Sorrow is heavy
And cannot be avoided
Yet I will remain
Update
Sometimes ideas change gently
So gently
We are not alerted
And may forget
To update
What we think we know
So gently
We are not alerted
And may forget
To update
What we think we know
Let Things Be
When I wake in the dark
And talk to the dead
And trouble myself
With fears and sadness
I search for the grace of living in the moment
Letting things just be
And talk to the dead
And trouble myself
With fears and sadness
I search for the grace of living in the moment
Letting things just be
I Share the Sun and Moon
Sunny days and starry nights
Have lives of their own
And I have mine
Sun and Moon
I hold and share them both
Have lives of their own
And I have mine
Sun and Moon
I hold and share them both
I Will Not Turn Away
I’m starting to see
Faint edges of death’s net
Reeling in my life
The paint on my door
Has begun to peel
I’m more often being ignored
But I persist and love survives
I’m shaking off the sadness
Grasping for an abundant life
I will not turn away
Faint edges of death’s net
Reeling in my life
The paint on my door
Has begun to peel
I’m more often being ignored
But I persist and love survives
I’m shaking off the sadness
Grasping for an abundant life
I will not turn away
What I Am Waiting For
I must remember
Life’s wheel
Will come around again
Wounds will heal
Leaving only faint scars
I will wait patiently
For love’s rain
To wash the edges
Of my scorched psyche
And I pray
That what I am waiting for
Is what I am longing for
Life’s wheel
Will come around again
Wounds will heal
Leaving only faint scars
I will wait patiently
For love’s rain
To wash the edges
Of my scorched psyche
And I pray
That what I am waiting for
Is what I am longing for
Buried In Installments
The U.S. government is making
Our young men of flesh
Into a mountain of dust
The politicians
Are beating the drums
Of our hearts
For their war chants
And our youths
Are being buried in installments
Our young men of flesh
Into a mountain of dust
The politicians
Are beating the drums
Of our hearts
For their war chants
And our youths
Are being buried in installments
Monday, June 28, 2010
Late Night Poetry Reading
It's after midnight
A single light looking over my shoulder
Like a vigilant guardian angel
Reading the loves and losses
Of my brother / sister poets
Washing my soul
Preparing for deep dreaming
I am happy to endure bleary eyes
For one more poem before sleep
A single light looking over my shoulder
Like a vigilant guardian angel
Reading the loves and losses
Of my brother / sister poets
Washing my soul
Preparing for deep dreaming
I am happy to endure bleary eyes
For one more poem before sleep
I Am A Poet
My job is to speak intimately
To cut through confusion
And stir what is within us
Pay day is every other Friday
No money
And a million dollars of satisfaction
To cut through confusion
And stir what is within us
Pay day is every other Friday
No money
And a million dollars of satisfaction
Poor Substitute
They opened the casket
For her first view
Since his death
Then I resolutely entered the funeral parlor
And the widow turned away from him
To greet me
I stepped forward
To console her
Suddenly she embraced me
With intensity
Born of her first last look
At a husband of over 50 years
I could only receive
And play the part
Of a poor substitute
For her first view
Since his death
Then I resolutely entered the funeral parlor
And the widow turned away from him
To greet me
I stepped forward
To console her
Suddenly she embraced me
With intensity
Born of her first last look
At a husband of over 50 years
I could only receive
And play the part
Of a poor substitute
Full Moon Rising
I love a full moon rising
Sailing on a black sky
But it needs a cloud companion
To avoid loneliness
And confirm its signal to mate
Sailing on a black sky
But it needs a cloud companion
To avoid loneliness
And confirm its signal to mate
Saturday, June 26, 2010
E Poem
Each earful earned echoes
Enduring enemy enfeebles enforcement
Episodic epistle epitomizes epoch
Ersatz erudition escalates escapism
Esoteric essay establishes esteem
Evaluation evaporates evasive evidence
Evil exacerbates excessive exchanges
Executive exercises exert exiles
Exorbitant exorcists expand expectations
Expensive experts explain expletives
Exports expunge external extortions
Extravagant exuberance exudes exultation
[All 48 words not only start with “E”, also all are in alphabetical order]
Enduring enemy enfeebles enforcement
Episodic epistle epitomizes epoch
Ersatz erudition escalates escapism
Esoteric essay establishes esteem
Evaluation evaporates evasive evidence
Evil exacerbates excessive exchanges
Executive exercises exert exiles
Exorbitant exorcists expand expectations
Expensive experts explain expletives
Exports expunge external extortions
Extravagant exuberance exudes exultation
[All 48 words not only start with “E”, also all are in alphabetical order]
Friday, June 25, 2010
Another Kind of Living
Put the pencil down
Push the paper away
Take off my eyeglasses
Breathe
Rest
Another kind of living
Push the paper away
Take off my eyeglasses
Breathe
Rest
Another kind of living
Stated Policy
Move beyond platitudes
And the myths of ourselves and country
Violence will not get us what we want
Wars do not make peace
They make enemies
The product of war
Is the precise reverse
Of the purpose of stated policy
And the myths of ourselves and country
Violence will not get us what we want
Wars do not make peace
They make enemies
The product of war
Is the precise reverse
Of the purpose of stated policy
Pouring Out My Heart
Can’t they see
I’m pouring out my heart
Leaving myself
Unprotected and expectant
They walk by
Never pausing
Nor even glancing
I’m pouring out my heart
Leaving myself
Unprotected and expectant
They walk by
Never pausing
Nor even glancing
Learn to Forget
There’s these people I know
They remember every little dadgum thing
Like picky eaters
They give way too much attention
To anything they might not like
And often they are offended too easily
They need to learn to forget
Or I intend to forget them
They remember every little dadgum thing
Like picky eaters
They give way too much attention
To anything they might not like
And often they are offended too easily
They need to learn to forget
Or I intend to forget them
Memory Visits
I patiently recline here in the space between your ears
Flowered by the rains of your occasional tears
I don’t want to disturb
Joy is not gone
Though the memory of me is dimmed
Yet some sweetness remains
I look forward to visiting
With you again before too long
Flowered by the rains of your occasional tears
I don’t want to disturb
Joy is not gone
Though the memory of me is dimmed
Yet some sweetness remains
I look forward to visiting
With you again before too long
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
HOUSTON CHRONICLE / SECTION B
For crime and misery
You can’t beat section B
Add some deaths
Then some weather
Put in some ads
And mix ‘em together
Today’s headlines:
Woman stabbed in home
Man kills brother
Police find 12 bodies
2 shot dead
Man to die for killing officer
There is some better news:
Relief is on the way
CEO indicted
A friendship evolves
Prom night is treat for seniors
(Hope they got luckier than I on my prom night)
How about the bizarre:
Libido pill for women stirs debate about desire
Newlywed female cheaters find more success in Texas
Cabbie extorts 10% tip
(I told you 10% was sufficient)
And my favorite - Man who lost arm to get new furnace
And then there’s stuff that not news to me:
Professor says there is lots to learn
Industry needs regulation
Put down the cell phone when you’re driving
Age is no excuse for bigotry
Hard work needed
And finally there are exhortations:
Change your life
Shop smarter and slim down
Blame the person in the mirror
Whine and Dine
(Though I think Dine and Whine is chronologically more correct)
As Walter always said
“And that’s the way it is”
Now I’ve got to solve the Jumble
See what Dilbert is doing
And maybe get a new furnace
Before I have to amputate my own arm
You can’t beat section B
Add some deaths
Then some weather
Put in some ads
And mix ‘em together
Today’s headlines:
Woman stabbed in home
Man kills brother
Police find 12 bodies
2 shot dead
Man to die for killing officer
There is some better news:
Relief is on the way
CEO indicted
A friendship evolves
Prom night is treat for seniors
(Hope they got luckier than I on my prom night)
How about the bizarre:
Libido pill for women stirs debate about desire
Newlywed female cheaters find more success in Texas
Cabbie extorts 10% tip
(I told you 10% was sufficient)
And my favorite - Man who lost arm to get new furnace
And then there’s stuff that not news to me:
Professor says there is lots to learn
Industry needs regulation
Put down the cell phone when you’re driving
Age is no excuse for bigotry
Hard work needed
And finally there are exhortations:
Change your life
Shop smarter and slim down
Blame the person in the mirror
Whine and Dine
(Though I think Dine and Whine is chronologically more correct)
As Walter always said
“And that’s the way it is”
Now I’ve got to solve the Jumble
See what Dilbert is doing
And maybe get a new furnace
Before I have to amputate my own arm
OBLIGATORY OBITUARY
Seems most obit writers choose “passed away”
Puh-lease, people die, they don’t pass away
And you don’t know for sure they are now in the arms of the lord either
Or that they’ve escaped their chains
Or departed this earth (in fact, they’re still here)
I’m angry when I read “died in Afghanistan”
And heartbroken to be notified
A newborn “was only moments in arms, but will be forever in our hearts”
I marvel to discover “she celebrated her 100th birthday, and then died peacefully”
Cautioned to learn “was killed by a hit-and-run driver” (probably drunk driver)
And pained at the revelation “died unexpectedly”
Knowing then they never had a chance to say goodbyes
I’ve never read, “was cruelly murdered by an evil scum bag”
But then you never get the details in the obligatory obituary.
Puh-lease, people die, they don’t pass away
And you don’t know for sure they are now in the arms of the lord either
Or that they’ve escaped their chains
Or departed this earth (in fact, they’re still here)
I’m angry when I read “died in Afghanistan”
And heartbroken to be notified
A newborn “was only moments in arms, but will be forever in our hearts”
I marvel to discover “she celebrated her 100th birthday, and then died peacefully”
Cautioned to learn “was killed by a hit-and-run driver” (probably drunk driver)
And pained at the revelation “died unexpectedly”
Knowing then they never had a chance to say goodbyes
I’ve never read, “was cruelly murdered by an evil scum bag”
But then you never get the details in the obligatory obituary.
SEE YOU LATER UNDERGROUND
The breeze caressing my face
Comes from the Southeast
It blows from the city of my birth
Carrying the ghosts of family
Still living in my imagination
They say
Take time with the living family
We will see you later
Underground
[I live in Houston and was born in Galveston. The moist, steady Gulf of Mexico breezes bring lots of warmth and memories]
Comes from the Southeast
It blows from the city of my birth
Carrying the ghosts of family
Still living in my imagination
They say
Take time with the living family
We will see you later
Underground
[I live in Houston and was born in Galveston. The moist, steady Gulf of Mexico breezes bring lots of warmth and memories]
VARIATION ON 73
This time of life
My core grows colder
Autumn turns to winter
Maturity ages into old
This time of year
My branches bear
Silver sprigs and amber leaves
Of few (or none)
This time of day
My sun is setting
Black night encroaches
And I rehearse eternal repose
But loves grow stronger
And I cling
To that which I must leave
Before too long
[This is my riff on Shakespeare's Sonnet #73]
My core grows colder
Autumn turns to winter
Maturity ages into old
This time of year
My branches bear
Silver sprigs and amber leaves
Of few (or none)
This time of day
My sun is setting
Black night encroaches
And I rehearse eternal repose
But loves grow stronger
And I cling
To that which I must leave
Before too long
[This is my riff on Shakespeare's Sonnet #73]
MILD BREEZY MORNING
A mild breezy morning
Cloudy, so no sun
A long walk
On an interesting path
No Ipod
Just nature
And some of my thoughts
I am a poet
I am content
Cloudy, so no sun
A long walk
On an interesting path
No Ipod
Just nature
And some of my thoughts
I am a poet
I am content
A SMALL VOICE
A small voice intrudes
It says
Paint
Today
When the Muse says
You must
I say
I will
[In addition to writing poetry, I paint (canvases, not houses)]
It says
Paint
Today
When the Muse says
You must
I say
I will
[In addition to writing poetry, I paint (canvases, not houses)]
SOUNDS OF MARRIAGE
If you’re going to drive like that
Then I don’t want to ride with you
Are you going to clip those nose hairs
I ask that you don’t do that when we’re with other people
Use good manners in public
That’s tacky
Do you really want to eat that
Will you turn off the music so I can read
That shirt is dirty
What did you say?
[As every husband knows, this could be the start of an epic poem]
Then I don’t want to ride with you
Are you going to clip those nose hairs
I ask that you don’t do that when we’re with other people
Use good manners in public
That’s tacky
Do you really want to eat that
Will you turn off the music so I can read
That shirt is dirty
What did you say?
[As every husband knows, this could be the start of an epic poem]
I DO NOT APPROVE
The news reports
A man crashed through the restraining cables
On the 2nd level of a parking garage
While trying to back into a space
Killing him
He was 63
I am 66
What is my generation
Starting to do to itself
I do not approve
A man crashed through the restraining cables
On the 2nd level of a parking garage
While trying to back into a space
Killing him
He was 63
I am 66
What is my generation
Starting to do to itself
I do not approve
STREET PARKING
Neighborhood street car parkers
Race to work through the city park
Avoiding closer spaces with contract parking fees
They are also rewarded
With brisk exercise
And time for their thoughts
Race to work through the city park
Avoiding closer spaces with contract parking fees
They are also rewarded
With brisk exercise
And time for their thoughts
WHENCE LOVE
WHENCE LOVE
We discover loveable qualities
Only after we start loving
And being attentive.
Like the wild, loving cannot be managed
It can only be recognized and honored
Love is not activated by the external object
Its source is internal
It is found in mesmerizing attention
That waters the psyche
And floods us with desire for intimacy
Love is born of the belly
Not the brain
The heart is a handbook of magic
73% water
And 27% fire
We discover loveable qualities
Only after we start loving
And being attentive.
Like the wild, loving cannot be managed
It can only be recognized and honored
Love is not activated by the external object
Its source is internal
It is found in mesmerizing attention
That waters the psyche
And floods us with desire for intimacy
Love is born of the belly
Not the brain
The heart is a handbook of magic
73% water
And 27% fire
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
TAKING CARE FOR POEMS
I take care with my poems
So when I am not with you
They will reach out for me
And touch you
So when I am not with you
They will reach out for me
And touch you
FINE BY ME
I am a little relieved
When I read an obit age
Greater than mine
And saddened if they were younger
Alarmed if the same age
For then I swear
I always sniff a small smell of death
I can no longer achieve dying young
Which is fine by me
When I read an obit age
Greater than mine
And saddened if they were younger
Alarmed if the same age
For then I swear
I always sniff a small smell of death
I can no longer achieve dying young
Which is fine by me
PARALLEL WORLD
In a parallel world
There are funerals every day
I do not notice
But when you died, I wondered
How can they carry on
Can’t they too feel the loss of you?
There are funerals every day
I do not notice
But when you died, I wondered
How can they carry on
Can’t they too feel the loss of you?
SILENT MOURNERS
Silent mourners
Crowd around your body
Watching to see if your chest will rise
But you are dead
The earth knows it
And waits for you
I want to move you into the sun
And let it awaken you just once more
But a dark cloud has covered me
Tomorrow I will get up
But you won’t
Crowd around your body
Watching to see if your chest will rise
But you are dead
The earth knows it
And waits for you
I want to move you into the sun
And let it awaken you just once more
But a dark cloud has covered me
Tomorrow I will get up
But you won’t
DEATH OF PARENTS
Upon the death of the first parent
You become half an orphan
With the second, a full orphan
And the life chain is broken
Beyond repair
You are unprotected
You are next
You become half an orphan
With the second, a full orphan
And the life chain is broken
Beyond repair
You are unprotected
You are next
PEOPLE OF PROXIMITY
We are a species of nearness
Loving and revenging
Mostly those we know
If you want our affection
And not our enmity
Here’s my advice
Stay close
Or stay away
[I am still disconcerted knowing murdered people are usually killed by people they know. Police always start with lovers and family members. We are a most dangerous species]
Loving and revenging
Mostly those we know
If you want our affection
And not our enmity
Here’s my advice
Stay close
Or stay away
[I am still disconcerted knowing murdered people are usually killed by people they know. Police always start with lovers and family members. We are a most dangerous species]
FOR A WHILE LONGER
My parents’ gametes bonded
Their zygote burst forth on Easter morn
Now, 24,000 days later
My cells are still renewing
Synapses snapping
Learning and forgetting
Yet I persist –
For a while longer
Their zygote burst forth on Easter morn
Now, 24,000 days later
My cells are still renewing
Synapses snapping
Learning and forgetting
Yet I persist –
For a while longer
JUST BARELY
Wife on a trip
Kids gone for years now
I posed my death mask today
I slumped my head forward
Pretending I died
Then imagined being discovered
Sitting upright, not yet putrid
Maybe they’d think I was only napping
Waiting to be useful again
I recognize my growing irrelevance
And it’s okay
But just barely
[Living into my late 60s, adjusting to retirement, there are more things to prepare than just drawing up a will]
Kids gone for years now
I posed my death mask today
I slumped my head forward
Pretending I died
Then imagined being discovered
Sitting upright, not yet putrid
Maybe they’d think I was only napping
Waiting to be useful again
I recognize my growing irrelevance
And it’s okay
But just barely
[Living into my late 60s, adjusting to retirement, there are more things to prepare than just drawing up a will]
BRIDGE OF WORDS
First entry in the dictionary – “A”
Could not be briefer
With 26 definitions
I’ve used most everyone
The last word is “ZZYAYVA”
A leaf hopping weevil
I doubt I will ever use it
Two words bookending the world of words
Enfolding both simplicity and sophistication
Holding all our truths and lies
Could not be briefer
With 26 definitions
I’ve used most everyone
The last word is “ZZYAYVA”
A leaf hopping weevil
I doubt I will ever use it
Two words bookending the world of words
Enfolding both simplicity and sophistication
Holding all our truths and lies
ENERGY OF YOUTH
Where is the energy of my youth
I spy this constant leaking
Of unappreciated things
From the crevices of my crucible
I look for repair
For the former things
They are now missed
Oh so missed
I spy this constant leaking
Of unappreciated things
From the crevices of my crucible
I look for repair
For the former things
They are now missed
Oh so missed
THE ALPHABET
A through Z make all words
That populate love letters and hate mail
They lullaby our babies
And march us to war
They reveal nature’s secrets
And hide the politician’s real agenda
More powerful than bombs
More deadly than bullets
Serving both good and evil
Truth and lies
There always available
Be careful how you use them
That populate love letters and hate mail
They lullaby our babies
And march us to war
They reveal nature’s secrets
And hide the politician’s real agenda
More powerful than bombs
More deadly than bullets
Serving both good and evil
Truth and lies
There always available
Be careful how you use them
MORNING WALK
Rich in money, houses and trees
A man conspired with his chemistry
To retire for an eternity
From his single chance at living
How many stories
Of love and loss
Have I unknowingly passed
On my morning walks through the neighborhood
[A clinically depressed neighbor shot himself as I was walking down his street one morning. I heard the shot but only later the story]
A man conspired with his chemistry
To retire for an eternity
From his single chance at living
How many stories
Of love and loss
Have I unknowingly passed
On my morning walks through the neighborhood
[A clinically depressed neighbor shot himself as I was walking down his street one morning. I heard the shot but only later the story]
AUTISTIC CHILD
Since my autistic son was born
I’ve learned to rope off the soft parts of my heart
And I work to construct meaning from his ill fate
To carve some victories of his disability
My fear is he will have no one
Left out, shunned
His friends only those
Who also wait for what never comes
But I cannot abandon Joey
To a world he does not understand
So I look for gifted caretakers
I can only hope the privileged ones will be kind
[There has been a 1600% increase in autistic births the past decade, 80% of them males. My son Joey is one of them. Both the cause and cure are unknown. We do, however, know the heartache and frustration. There is an 85% divorce rate of the parents of autistic children]
I’ve learned to rope off the soft parts of my heart
And I work to construct meaning from his ill fate
To carve some victories of his disability
My fear is he will have no one
Left out, shunned
His friends only those
Who also wait for what never comes
But I cannot abandon Joey
To a world he does not understand
So I look for gifted caretakers
I can only hope the privileged ones will be kind
[There has been a 1600% increase in autistic births the past decade, 80% of them males. My son Joey is one of them. Both the cause and cure are unknown. We do, however, know the heartache and frustration. There is an 85% divorce rate of the parents of autistic children]
DEATH HOUR MINUS 43 MINUTES
D – 43 minutes
He woke to promise and sunlight
Reflected off yellow walls
It was a clear, cool morning
D – 31 minutes
Ever a careful eater
He breakfasted on Ezekiel bread and Brazilian coffee
In his favorite running clothes
D - 19 minutes
After a smile and a kiss
He was off on his final journey
Through familiar streets with family trees
D – 7 minutes
He thought he must’ve eaten too quickly
The growing discomfort
Escorted him on a shorter route home
D – minus one minute 43 seconds
Feet cemented by an imploding chest
He tried to rush home
Something was massively wrong
D – minus 31 seconds
He tossed his wallet
To the stopped driver
Please, call my wife
Zero hour
His heart soon flatlines
Bee-beep, bee-beep, …beep
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
D + 7 days
At his funeral
The family wept
Friends remembered his cheerfulness
He woke to promise and sunlight
Reflected off yellow walls
It was a clear, cool morning
D – 31 minutes
Ever a careful eater
He breakfasted on Ezekiel bread and Brazilian coffee
In his favorite running clothes
D - 19 minutes
After a smile and a kiss
He was off on his final journey
Through familiar streets with family trees
D – 7 minutes
He thought he must’ve eaten too quickly
The growing discomfort
Escorted him on a shorter route home
D – minus one minute 43 seconds
Feet cemented by an imploding chest
He tried to rush home
Something was massively wrong
D – minus 31 seconds
He tossed his wallet
To the stopped driver
Please, call my wife
Zero hour
His heart soon flatlines
Bee-beep, bee-beep, …beep
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
D + 7 days
At his funeral
The family wept
Friends remembered his cheerfulness
SIGNATURE MEMORY
I thought mothers lived forever
I was wrong, wrong, wrong
Your dishes and dresses were only distractions
But your signature
On the no longer needed driver’s license
I held next to my heart
[After my mother’s death, came the task of going through the detritus she left behind. The talisman power of her signature caught me off guard]
I was wrong, wrong, wrong
Your dishes and dresses were only distractions
But your signature
On the no longer needed driver’s license
I held next to my heart
[After my mother’s death, came the task of going through the detritus she left behind. The talisman power of her signature caught me off guard]
LATE NIGHT CALL
A late night phone ring
Burns the fog of first hour sleep
Dad, hospital, stroke, unconscious
Next few hours will tell life or death
Hours later, no sleep, another call
“Dead” is all I hear
I’m all snot and swollen eyes
No more possibility for reconciliation
Burns the fog of first hour sleep
Dad, hospital, stroke, unconscious
Next few hours will tell life or death
Hours later, no sleep, another call
“Dead” is all I hear
I’m all snot and swollen eyes
No more possibility for reconciliation
STIFF HEART
When you died an absence appeared
And we covered the silence with weeping
That night I descended to dreaming
Seeking a reprieve
Pausing at the junction of life and death
I cried out – Goodbye
Those were hours of a stiff heart
Then came the letting go
And we covered the silence with weeping
That night I descended to dreaming
Seeking a reprieve
Pausing at the junction of life and death
I cried out – Goodbye
Those were hours of a stiff heart
Then came the letting go
THE DREAM
I never got the chance to tell you goodbye
Instead our last conversation was The Dream
I hope we dreamed this dream together
There was a long hallway with many doors
I opened the one with your name on it
Sitting up in the coffin you said, “Hi Larryna”
You told me you were sorry
You hadn’t spoken with me those past years
You were a flawed father, an imperfect man
But you wanted me to know you loved me
A short message with a long tail
And one I’d always wanted to hear
Too soon it was time to close your coffin forever
Obediently you lay back down, never to return
They had to pull me from the building
As a huge bulldozer groaned to life
Its giant blade destroyed the building
Like you, all was gone,
So, we got to say our goodbye
To settle our accounts
And let the memory of you fly.
[About 3 months after my Dad died, I had The Dream. To this day it is clearer and more real than any memory I have of the times we shared together. Maybe this is only a gift I gave myself, but it could be the fulfillment of what we both wanted]
Instead our last conversation was The Dream
I hope we dreamed this dream together
There was a long hallway with many doors
I opened the one with your name on it
Sitting up in the coffin you said, “Hi Larryna”
You told me you were sorry
You hadn’t spoken with me those past years
You were a flawed father, an imperfect man
But you wanted me to know you loved me
A short message with a long tail
And one I’d always wanted to hear
Too soon it was time to close your coffin forever
Obediently you lay back down, never to return
They had to pull me from the building
As a huge bulldozer groaned to life
Its giant blade destroyed the building
Like you, all was gone,
So, we got to say our goodbye
To settle our accounts
And let the memory of you fly.
[About 3 months after my Dad died, I had The Dream. To this day it is clearer and more real than any memory I have of the times we shared together. Maybe this is only a gift I gave myself, but it could be the fulfillment of what we both wanted]
CLOSET OF BONES
I look into your coffin
The silk lined closet of your bones
You look different
Your hand cold as winter
I watch for your breath
I hope for a gentle rise of your chest
For a reversal of this stinging fate
For a chance to touch you alive again
But you are dead
The earth knows it
And waits for you
Where can I put all the things you will now miss?
[Have you, too, ever experienced the optical illusion of thinking, for just a moment, that you saw the loved breathe again? It is all so unnatural, the absolutely motionless body, the cold touch. How can it be?]
The silk lined closet of your bones
You look different
Your hand cold as winter
I watch for your breath
I hope for a gentle rise of your chest
For a reversal of this stinging fate
For a chance to touch you alive again
But you are dead
The earth knows it
And waits for you
Where can I put all the things you will now miss?
[Have you, too, ever experienced the optical illusion of thinking, for just a moment, that you saw the loved breathe again? It is all so unnatural, the absolutely motionless body, the cold touch. How can it be?]
I AM INCONSISTENT
The government killed a murderer today
I do not regret it
I know capital punishment is wrong
Costs too much
Takes too long
I am inconsistent
I’d rather the victim’s family
Tore out the murderer’s hard heart
And wash it with their soft tears
Than have the State kill him in my name
I am inconsistent
I do not regret it
I know capital punishment is wrong
Costs too much
Takes too long
I am inconsistent
I’d rather the victim’s family
Tore out the murderer’s hard heart
And wash it with their soft tears
Than have the State kill him in my name
I am inconsistent
ODE TO BASHO
Old pond
Young frog
Small splash
Large silence
(Even briefer)
Pond
Frog
Plop
…
[Basho is perhaps the most famous haiku poet. These are a couple of my variations of his most famous poem. I head toward the minimalist side of the haiku protocol]
Young frog
Small splash
Large silence
(Even briefer)
Pond
Frog
Plop
…
[Basho is perhaps the most famous haiku poet. These are a couple of my variations of his most famous poem. I head toward the minimalist side of the haiku protocol]
ON THE OCCASION OF JOEY'S BAPTISM
[Joey’s Catholic grandmother wanted him to be baptized. I wrote the following for the congregation that witnessed the ceremony]
Our son was born 25 years ago with pervasive developmental disorder, a spectrum that includes autism and cognitive disability. And while he is over six feet tall, he reasons and communicates like a child – and always will. He knows Santa fills the stockings on Christmas morning and, when he saw the Flat Iron Mountains above Boulder shrouded in clouds, he was alarmed they were melting.
In preparation for this tradition, last night I asked Joey, “Who is God?”…”Don’t know”, he answered. Then I asked, “Do you know where He lives?”…again, “Don’t know”. Joey never wastes a word. I could not repress a smile. Joey’s view of the world often amuses me, but later something occurred to me after the humor passed - my own answers to these questions are the same as his –“I don’t know”.
Joey joins your church community today without the baggage of deep intellectual reasoning. He can teach you some things about service and friendship that are difficult for more educated persons to grasp. He loves the candles and the bells and he loves to give the peace sign to everyone.
Joey does not lie. Joey would not hurt a fly. Indeed, I once witnessed him stopping in his tracks when he thought he might step on bug. He is not discontent. He lives a simple life and loves to be of service. He is happiest when he is helping. Though I haven’t been able to teach him to talk a lot, he has taught me to listen more.
His tastes are simple. He likes pretty girls, macaroni and cheese and cokes. He is trusting and transparent. He feels others pain and, like the lilies of the field, he takes no thought for the morrow.
He may comprehend things you and I cannot understand. He has, after all, lived his life in a state of innocence. Perhaps in matters of faith and trust, it is we, not he, who are handicapped.
I am sure Joey is already accepted into God’s kingdom and I know he is pleased to be accepted into this church community.
Our son was born 25 years ago with pervasive developmental disorder, a spectrum that includes autism and cognitive disability. And while he is over six feet tall, he reasons and communicates like a child – and always will. He knows Santa fills the stockings on Christmas morning and, when he saw the Flat Iron Mountains above Boulder shrouded in clouds, he was alarmed they were melting.
In preparation for this tradition, last night I asked Joey, “Who is God?”…”Don’t know”, he answered. Then I asked, “Do you know where He lives?”…again, “Don’t know”. Joey never wastes a word. I could not repress a smile. Joey’s view of the world often amuses me, but later something occurred to me after the humor passed - my own answers to these questions are the same as his –“I don’t know”.
Joey joins your church community today without the baggage of deep intellectual reasoning. He can teach you some things about service and friendship that are difficult for more educated persons to grasp. He loves the candles and the bells and he loves to give the peace sign to everyone.
Joey does not lie. Joey would not hurt a fly. Indeed, I once witnessed him stopping in his tracks when he thought he might step on bug. He is not discontent. He lives a simple life and loves to be of service. He is happiest when he is helping. Though I haven’t been able to teach him to talk a lot, he has taught me to listen more.
His tastes are simple. He likes pretty girls, macaroni and cheese and cokes. He is trusting and transparent. He feels others pain and, like the lilies of the field, he takes no thought for the morrow.
He may comprehend things you and I cannot understand. He has, after all, lived his life in a state of innocence. Perhaps in matters of faith and trust, it is we, not he, who are handicapped.
I am sure Joey is already accepted into God’s kingdom and I know he is pleased to be accepted into this church community.
HOLDING PERIOD
There is a holding room in limbo
For the first of a couple to die
The partner left behind
Must then search alone in purgatory
While drifting in a haze of lost love
When the partner finally falls into eternity
Then together they promenade the pearly gates
And those still in line
Note their position
And know they are next
[This poem is a speculation about the fate of widowed people. It provides a new definition for the obscure concepts of limbo and purgatory, assigning them to devoted married couples.]
For the first of a couple to die
The partner left behind
Must then search alone in purgatory
While drifting in a haze of lost love
When the partner finally falls into eternity
Then together they promenade the pearly gates
And those still in line
Note their position
And know they are next
[This poem is a speculation about the fate of widowed people. It provides a new definition for the obscure concepts of limbo and purgatory, assigning them to devoted married couples.]
JENNY
Not dead a year yet
Already almost gone forever
Jenny, your name,
Never to be spoken again.
I won’t have the chance
To tell you stories
And show you pictures
But I will hold those memories for you
As long as I can
Among them will be
Holding your one hour old hand
And my promise to watch over you
For the father you never knew
Lost by construction bravado
Carelessly leaving you alone
And less than half protected
[Jenny’s dad was killed on the job before she was born. I stood in for him at her birth. After her mother, my sister, died, we raised her as our own daughter. She died at 40, childless, barely making her way through life.]
Already almost gone forever
Jenny, your name,
Never to be spoken again.
I won’t have the chance
To tell you stories
And show you pictures
But I will hold those memories for you
As long as I can
Among them will be
Holding your one hour old hand
And my promise to watch over you
For the father you never knew
Lost by construction bravado
Carelessly leaving you alone
And less than half protected
[Jenny’s dad was killed on the job before she was born. I stood in for him at her birth. After her mother, my sister, died, we raised her as our own daughter. She died at 40, childless, barely making her way through life.]
POETRY TIME
I hear pattering rain
On my roof
Demanding attention
Silent house
Window full of gray
Time for poet’s work
...
Now I leave my poetry room
And enter the larger room
Of my other life
[These poems began on a rainy afternoon. I am completing the task and sending them to you on a hot sunny day – as I return to the larger room of my other activities]
On my roof
Demanding attention
Silent house
Window full of gray
Time for poet’s work
...
Now I leave my poetry room
And enter the larger room
Of my other life
[These poems began on a rainy afternoon. I am completing the task and sending them to you on a hot sunny day – as I return to the larger room of my other activities]
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